Dignity is for republicans.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
