Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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