ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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