Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
So squirting runs in the family.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
