butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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