Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Quick, to the slutcave!
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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