All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I just found puke in my bra..
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Your cock deserves a montage
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
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