you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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