she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
