He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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