From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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