chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
