why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I am one with the molecules
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
