On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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