he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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