We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
