Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
