If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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