I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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