And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
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