I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
