You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
