So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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