We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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