Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
