I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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