Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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