when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
