btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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