Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
did i just pee glitter
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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