i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
