i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
