Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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