Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
