I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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