I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
