We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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