I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Ladies don't puke and tell
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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