I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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