she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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