come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
