After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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