You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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