My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
