I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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