yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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