dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
