I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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