i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize