I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
