Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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