Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
