i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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