i will never coherently bang her
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
