3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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