you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
