I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
