last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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