Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
