This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize