So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
