If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
