this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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