I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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