I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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