I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
